Friday, November 27, 2009

There's More Than One of Everything.

Yeah, bueno.

Es/fue Thanksgiving, y aunque no es un dia festivo 'nativo' para mi, creo que es una buena oportunidad para dar gracias, aun y cuando ultimamente no hago mas que quejarme o 'llorar' por X o Y razones. Tengo mucho porque dar gracias, y en verdad que me siento agradecido/bendecido por todo eso.

Gracias por mi familia, o los que considero parte de ella. Por mis amigos, no los que dicen serlo, sino aquellos que realmente lo son y me lo demuestran. Por lo que conozco, por lo que aprendo, por lo que vivo, por mis experiencias- tanto buenas como malas, en fin. Gracias por todo.

Y gracias a Yoko Kanno, por la inspiracion que me dio esta madrugada/maniana, y logro regresarme a mis cinco sentidos despues de mucho tiempo de estar debrayando sin sentido alguno. Call Me Call Me es, sin duda, una cancion vital en mi existencia, no solo por los recuerdos, sino por el significado tan transcendental que posee, en cualquier momento.

No es la primera vez, ni sera la ultima, que adquiera un valor nuevo para mi. Ayer recorde que siempre habran oportunidades nuevas, pocas cosas son "unicas" en esta vida. Asi que rejoice!

Tengo curiosidad de ver como sera Thanksgiving en el 2010. Me pregunto por que cosas estare agradecido, o mentando madres. Asi que, stay tuned!




Thursday, November 26, 2009

The road not taken.

How many times do you ever stop and think, "what would things be like, if I had chosen something else?" Even the slightest choice could snowball itself into existence towards something huge over time. What drives us to make the decisions we take at certain, vital points in our lives?

I wonder sometimes how my life would be, if I had been a bit more secure in the past. Would I be a "better" person now? Probably, yes. Would I be close to the kind of person I want to be nowadays? Most likely, no. Do I regret the choices I've made throughout the years? Some I do, some I don't.

I know, that sounds lazy and super ambiguous. But it isn't far from the truth.

Tonight I saw... lets say "reflections" of a life that could've been me. And part of me wishes those reflections were real, while the other wonders/is afraid of what would be of some people in my life if they were. It sort of saddens me in a way, because I think that if I had known things could or would be so different, maybe I would have acted in a different manner, and I would be someone else right now.

My life could be so different now. In a way, I think I fucked it up at a very specific point in the past. Just one bad choice, has led me down this road full of nothing. At times I feel that things are going to look up, that they are going to be better; but then it all crashes down, one way or another. And I go on, alone.

Why can't life be more like a movie, like anime? Things would be much more simple. The good guy gets the girl, gets praised by everyone, is loved by everyone, and so on. Alas, it isn't like that in the real world.

Being nice gets you shit. Zero. Nada. Only disappointment. No girl, no praise, no love. Its always the asshole who gets the girl, because for some reason, those are the guys they fall far. Being nice means shit in the real world.

Tonight might have been the last straw for me. Why do I bother trusting someone? Why do I bother caring? All it gets me is one thing: absolutely nothing. I guess I should just clam up and say fuck it all. Freddie Mercury and Queen might have been right after all- nothing really matters.

Nothing really matters, to me. At least tonight, I don't give a goddamn shit about anything. Because the road I'm on, feels like its getting me nowhere.




Sunday, November 15, 2009

Strangers.

We've found a kind of paradise in a flowers bloom.
We've seen the end of a mystic land so close it meets the parting sun.
We've shared the thoughts that two could share, we feel the truth, magic that we send...

Searching for something new
Isle of Gold in flowers bloom

We've heard a kind of paradise beyond the desert's dunes.
We've walked the earth in solitude, so cold we need the warmth of sun.
We've lived the life that we could live, we see the truth magic that begins...

Searching for something new
Isle of Gold in flowers bloom

We've found a kind of paradise, below a sky so new.
We've weaved a web of mystery so wide, we need the light of day.
We've worn the cloak of secret lives, we've seen the truth, magic that we send...

Searching for something new
Isle of Gold in flowers bloom

So when will it end?
So when, when will we meet, my friend?




When, indeed. Dedicado al buen Chuy, donde quiera que estes- see you space cowboy...